spinster

Sunshine, Drinks & Stalking

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For the past month or so, I have been rather absent from my blog.

I would like to say, I have met the love of my life. Binned the Tinder and am currently planning a round the world trip with my incredibly handsome boyfriend, but that would be a lie.

Instead, I’ve been enjoying the hot weather and socialising a little too much – so much so that my liver has sent me a holiday request form! (I probably should let her have some time off)

Since my last post 

  • I accidentally stalked a guy – All the humiliating details will be revealed in my next post!
  • Gained 2 creepy admirers – That just so happen to be my neighbours.
  • Created a fake boyfriend – To ward off creepy neighbours; It’s not worked as one now thinks ‘I’m playing hard to get’ and the other believes we have a ‘secret thing’

Oh and did I mention…I turned 28! I’m officially creeping the ladder to 30 and one step closer to my ever impending spinsterhood.

It’s been a while…

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It’s been a while since my last post, mainly due to the chaos of moving into my new flat and partially as I thought it was a good time to give myself a break from the dating world – seeing  as all of my tinder dates have been rapidly escalating from bad to excruciatingly awful.  The odds have not been in my favour!

It wasn’t until I was standing at the microwave meal Deals for One section in Tesco, alongside all the other singletons, that I had an epiphany – upon catching my reflection in the glass of the frozen food I had a vision of myself in 30 years’ time…

Wrapped in knitwear, with scraggily, un-brushed hair and cats climbing all over me whilst I stirred a massive pot of soup. I would become that strange, old, spinster lady that smells of a mixture of chicken soup and cat piss – who all the local children are convinced is a witch and just throw stones at her windows.

Shrieking in horror at my future self I ran home, threw all my soup in the bin, poured myself a glass of Prosecco and logged back in to tinder – ever the optimist!