online dating

The Man With Tiny Feet

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After weeks of texting and his endless stream of Snapchat selfies (a little vain perhaps, but at least I know he looks like his pictures and that is HOT!)

Squeezing into my Sandy from Grease trousers and a belly full of nerves, I jump on the tube and venture across the river to Camden, North London.

I spot my date in the distance – it is hard not too, when he is that fit! –  gliding along ‘on Cloud 9’ and beaming from ear to ear, I suddenly feel an almighty crash… is my heel caught in the pavement?  No it’s reality smashing me in the knee caps!

He has lied about his height. (more…)

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The Sex God

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Drooling as this bronzed Adonis walks through the bar – parting the hoards of women like Moses parting the seas – Oh My God this is my date and he is fitter than his pictures!

I can barely lift my jaw off the floor as he comes striding towards me with such perfectly chiselled features – he would be much more suited to a billboard (preferably one where he’s only wearing boxers!) than this bar. (more…)

The not so musician – Coming to a tube station near you…

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Standing outside in the blistering wind and losing control of one contact lens – to the point that I am squinting so much that I now resemble a one-eyed pirate – is not a good look when attempting to find my date! (more…)

The Accidental Date

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After losing track of who I was talking to, I had agreed to go on a date, only to realise 10 seconds later that I had replied to the wrong guy – I had now committed myself to a date with a man who looked alarmingly like a hamster? (more…)

Familiar Faces…

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On Saturday night, whilst out on a cocktail fuelled evening, I found myself surrounded by some very familiar faces…

At first I thought nothing of it and just assumed that I had probably seen them out in one of the bars earlier on…it wasn’t until I had arm wrestled my way through the crowds of congregating people, all hoarding around the bar, that I somehow fell into a dispute with the man next to me – as to who would be served first. (more…)