cock shots

Men Of Tinder

dont-be-that-guy

After yet another horrific tinder date (see previous post -The City Slicker http://wp.me/p50Tds-4S ) and his bizarre need to send me unwanted cock shots!?! I felt compelled to write this…

We do not want to see your flaccid microscopic manhood flashing up on our phone screens. – It’s very awkward when you’re travelling on London transport and the person next to you is being overly nosy!

We laugh at your ‘come hither’ photos of you lying naked, seductively sprawled across your bed. – We know it took you 20 odd attempts to get that ‘perfect shot’.

And we laugh even more when our mutual friends pop up!

So men of tinder, I urge you to put your penises away and have some dignity…Don’t be that guy.

 

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The City Slicker

aksessuari2 (1)

 

Unable to see my tall blonde city slicker, I walk past the bar in search for him.

From the corner of my eye, I spot a small creepy man hiding in a doorway. Tightening my grip on my bag whilst feeling for my perfume to act as pepper spray and reaching for my keys ready to jab him in the eye. I pick up my pace as this small podgy man begins to lurk out of the shadows…..aaahhh following me! Great, where the hell is my date?

Walking faster as I search frantically for my phone, I hear my name being called from behind me…Oh god please don’t say that creepy man is my date?!  (more…)