Month: December 2014

The Man With Tiny Feet

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After weeks of texting and his endless stream of Snapchat selfies (a little vain perhaps, but at least I know he looks like his pictures and that is HOT!)

Squeezing into my Sandy from Grease trousers and a belly full of nerves, I jump on the tube and venture across the river to Camden, North London.

I spot my date in the distance – it is hard not too, when he is that fit! –  gliding along ‘on Cloud 9’ and beaming from ear to ear, I suddenly feel an almighty crash… is my heel caught in the pavement?  No it’s reality smashing me in the knee caps!

He has lied about his height. (more…)

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It’s been a while…

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It’s been a while since my last post, mainly due to the chaos of moving into my new flat and partially as I thought it was a good time to give myself a break from the dating world – seeing  as all of my tinder dates have been rapidly escalating from bad to excruciatingly awful.  The odds have not been in my favour!

It wasn’t until I was standing at the microwave meal Deals for One section in Tesco, alongside all the other singletons, that I had an epiphany – upon catching my reflection in the glass of the frozen food I had a vision of myself in 30 years’ time…

Wrapped in knitwear, with scraggily, un-brushed hair and cats climbing all over me whilst I stirred a massive pot of soup. I would become that strange, old, spinster lady that smells of a mixture of chicken soup and cat piss – who all the local children are convinced is a witch and just throw stones at her windows.

Shrieking in horror at my future self I ran home, threw all my soup in the bin, poured myself a glass of Prosecco and logged back in to tinder – ever the optimist!